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[Monday [09/14] around 10:55pm]
Good grief! Kanye! Stop acting like such a fucking asshole. We have a black president now! Some of us are trying to get ahead, you know, for real these days. To conclude, we've got enough shit flung at us on a daily basis without you acting like a douche all the goddamn time and fucking it up for the rest of us.

And it goes on and on again. [Friday [06/26] around 12:30pm]
I never tire of the the moral hypocrisy of the Right.

Mark Sanford, the latest n'er-do-well bastard to find himself in an inextricable scandal, has long refused to accept bail-out money because of some misguided conservative principle (misguided because we're in a bloody recession).

Now, with the press reporting on his mistress in Argentina, the South Carolina governor who voted to impeach Clinton is facing possible impeachment himself. Apparently, leaving the country without properly informing your staff and neglecting your sworn duties as governor is an impeachable offense. Hopefully, that means that someone who's actually interested in resuscitating the shithole that is the South Carolinian economy will step into the void.

Although I never tire of these shenanigans, I can plainly see that this kind of sad-sack spectacle is at least becoming trite.


[Monday [06/08] around 2:46am]
From Killing Rage, bell hooks writes that "All our silences in the face of racist
assault are acts of complicity."

True enough. Couple it with this rumination on the responsibility of white people:

"Close to white folks, I am forced to witness firsthand their willful ignorance
about the impact of race and racism. The harsh absolutism of their denial.
Their refusal to acknowledge accountability for racist conditions past and present."

I'm still searching for the kind of clarity she derives from her rage at social injustice, from the thousand little cuts of everyday oppression. I still don't know why, when confronted with willful ignorance or even blatant prejudice, I can't properly bring myself to speak out against idiocy, against intolerance, against complicity, against an intent to dehumanize. I don't think it stems from internal oppression, because man, I am a conscious and angry person by nature. But a sincere and overpowering need to be liked, to be accepted, is something everyone must individually confront. To reference Toni Morrison, I don't want to be pitied to win the approval of people that perpetuate and propagate bad things. That's the only term I can think to apply to the problems I perceive in society. Simply, bad things.

[Saturday [05/09] around 8:19pm]
I graduated? What next?

[Sunday [03/22] around 12:01am]
I just noticed that one of my favorite bands is friends with Obama on MySpace. That ... is pretty darn cool.

Hookah on an empty stomach makes you dreary inside. [Friday [03/13] around 3:22am]
It's weird that I'm sometimes compelled to turn to the internet in times of personal crisis. I somehow feel like I can more readily reaffirm my identity via the interwebzz. Although it's probably all in my head, I feel a certain kinship with my people and all of their blogspots. "Those are real Asians," I think. Most of the time, they put meaning to my thoughts and words more eloquently than I can ever manage for myself.

I always wince when I think "my people." Why is that? I think it's partly because society has so deeply ingrained the idea of multiculturalism into each of us. Not that multiculturalism is bad or anything ... but the term "self-segregation" sends some people into a frenzy of political correctness. Not that political correctness itself is problematic ... or maybe it is. I dunno. My head hurts from too many attempts at synthesizing all of the world's daily ills into a convenient cause-and-effect relationship. Sometimes it really is that simple. Most of the time, it's not.

I've run into some rough patches with a few close friends lately. I'm probably just being too much of a fucking asshole. In my own defense, life kind of fucking sucks right now. I don't need to be an open book every waking moment of my life, which is why I keep that secret shit secret. Even your best friend can't stand to hear you complaining all the time. I don't approach people with my heart in my hand, so I guess I need to curb this rampant hostility that's been flaring up every now and again. Is it so cliche? "No one understands me." I've rarely uttered or even thought such a thing. But we all falter, and at this juncture in my development, I think I can be allowed this one instance of uncertainty. I'm not gonna indulge myself with a lot of self-pitying bullshit, but I'm not a sore guy. So why the friend-problems?

Not sure what I'm going to do after graduation. Maybe go abroad? I don't have the money for that, though. I need to get my shit together and come out strong these last few weeks. Shit, I hope my profs will be gracious. I've been way too slack.

[Wednesday [03/04] around 5:43pm]
Bobby Jindal is a casualty of the South.

I will not be.

Don't think you can act familiar because you've seen a thing or two. [Monday [03/02] around 3:30am]

I recently read that hate groups have increased by 54 percent since 2000. Among the problems associated with this rise are the economic meltdown and Obama's election.

None of this is at all surprising. I distinctly recall arguing with someone on some Facebook group about the inevitability of a reemerging xenophobic culture. Now I see articles about wealthy Chinese nationals purchasing foreclosed properties and Republicans blaming undocumented immigrants for the sub-prime mortgage mess. "The Chinese are coming and let's close off the southern border" and whatnot and so forth ... and of course, everyone who hates anyone wants to pin everything on Obama.

It's easy to pick out the most volatile haters. You have your Limbaughs, who are simply old white men who are so sorely sorry they only have most of the power in today's society, instead of all of it (to borrow from American Dad!). Then you have your self-loathing types, like Michelle Malkin, who frankly serve no other purpose in this life than to shore up the disintegrating ideologies of said white men.

With all this accounted, can I just say that white liberalism is so ... self-effacing? People like to be loudly demonstrative when it comes to along which side of the racial divide they fall. I see so many people prostrating themselves before the altar of white guilt as if the ceremonial nature of self-flagellation before the witness of history was enough to absolve certain people of responsibility for social inequality.

But in the end, when the chips are down, you really can't wait around for white people to advocate for you. No, in the end, it's really your ass that's on the line.

Regarding the Oscars ... [Monday [02/23] around 2:02am]
First of all, I've never particularly cared for the Oscars. As I've matured, I've realized my reasons for boycotting the Academy Awards are myriad:

First and foremost, minorities of any type are typically underrepresented or flat denied from access to Hollywood.

Secondly, Asian Americans especially get no representation, and when they do, it's typically in the form of some bullshit nonsense. Asian villainy is always in fashion ...

The Oscars are infamous for being biased and dominated by special interests. As ridiculous as it is to complain about "special interests" in the entertainment industry, I'm so damn tired of Oscar sweeps. It's amazing how much acclaim a mediocre film with HUGE production values can garner ...

I hate acceptances speeches, lame hosts, idiotic jokes, and awkward celebrity attempts at being "rebellious" or "different." No, you are not like us. You are not like us for a reason. Please stop playing at being high-schoolers and bring a little dignity to the otherwise preposterous proceedings.

But after briefly watching the 2009 Oscars, and after viewing some Japanese animated film director totally disgrace himself (in broken English) by uttering the phrase domo arrigato, Mr. Roboto, I think I'm totally, totally done with that scene. Whomever it was that advised him to say that ought to be beaten. Beaten badly and without remorse.

Brain rot. [Friday [02/06] around 10:54pm]
I was attempting to do some (seemingly) simple math tonight, and upon trying to recall the order of operations, the only mnemonic device I could remember was "My very educated mother just served us nine pizzas."

2 comment

Fashion sense..since when? [Friday [01/23] around 2:41pm]
Have I said it? I think I've said it before. If I haven't, then forgive me for being redundant: fashion is a crock. I can appreciate the finer points of home design, but fashion is a terrible construction from the minds of people with overdeveloped senses of the importance of their own creativity.


[Wednesday [01/14] around 2:14am]
There are some nights when you can sit and think on matters for a spell and realize that the next day will bring friendly faces and familiarity and an odd comfort in the well-worn treads of a life not quite extraordinary, but nevertheless contented.

There are other nights when your soul becomes a little deflated and you become older and colder and realize that even the coziest corners of life are sometimes just irrational little pieces of your small, isolated world that provide no solace to an ailing spirit. You feel that your heart might never shine with the same luster as the day it shone before.

This is one of those nights. I hurt, and I have no one to turn to. And in my pain, I can feel only anger and selfish feelings.

Oh I'm brown all year around, and also blue, but that you knew. [Monday [01/12] around 1:16am]
More than images or smells, I think music most viscerally recalls memories. I've had to update my somewhat cramped mp3 player for the new year, and perusing my ever-humble but always-growing collection was almost like inhabiting a dream.

Although an ambitious undertaking, I think I'll henceforth track the circumstances surrounding my discovery of "new music." Maybe I'll note my mood, or what's going on in life, or who introduced me to the artist and keep it all neatly tucked away in some txt. file. Every song has a story, it seems, and all of my favorites are closely associated with a particular person or a moment captured in time.

These days, I think I'm feeling more partial to Interpol when I should be striving to be a Van Morrison. My last semester begins tomorrow, and as always, it feels like I'm starting the new year with much ado and trepidation.

When things take a turn for the uncertain, I always feel so solitary. I need to share someone's warmth. I want to be in love again.

I've heard that those unlucky at love are ace at cards. I don't know what the fuck I'm to do.

Bitch please. [Saturday [01/03] around 11:35pm]
It occurs to me that I've not achieved much in life, but what little I have to my name, I've earned it genuinely.

I also allow people undue reprieves. I make excuses for them being bitchy and rude when in actuality, they're just base people with selfish intentions.

It's that kind of restraint that's kept me from blurting out "I think you're an idiot and the reason you're a single mom and a mid-level manager at a grocery store is because you clearly made bad decisions as a young person. Your problems are made of your own inadequacies, so don't give me ultimatums just because you're having a bad day. You're also entirely insufferable and your sacrin sweetness might give me cancer one day."

I hate my boss.

[Sunday [12/14] around 10:37pm]
I'm sorry, but pregnant stomachs are NOT beautiful. I don't care about the miracle of life and all that shit. Them thangs are gross. Gross.

Sarah Palin is, unsurprisingly, still an idiot. [Monday [12/01] around 1:08pm]
It's interesting how so many people have such nice things to say about Obama these days. I guess they figured out that he isn't fucking around and actually intends to get a lot of shit done in his first couple of months.

Which is why I find Sarah Palin's recent endorsement (if you can call it that) of Obama to be so ironic. She basically states that all of her bs talk during the campaign has absolutely nothing to do with how effective a president Obama will be. Huh. Go figure.

But I at least expected Palin to remain consistent in her ludicrous criticisms. Doesn't she understand that if she expects to make a bid in '12, it's best to keep the rednecks full of fire and racism? "Praying" for Obama isn't what your supporters want you to be doing in the interim, you dumbass.

Also, I almost wanted to try to hit the mall on Black Friday. As luck had it, I didn't have time. From here on out, I've decided that flocking to stupid super-saver promotions is pretty dumb and should be avoided at all costs. Spend money and save the economy, my ass. Artificially lowered prices sometimes kill.


Hooray, it's the holiday season! [Monday [12/01] around 12:28am]
I never really associated Christianity with Christmas as a kid. I guess most children don't. Or adults, for that matter.

If I were a Christian, I'd probably be super-concerned about that. But since I'm not, it's just kind of odd to me.

I'm still trying to figure out where I fall on the spectrum of religion. I wonder if I'm a non-believer simply because it's easier for me to categorize myself as such and not have to worry about the nuances of belief systems.

Well, I pretty much don't believe in a god. So I guess that's the big reason.

Anyhow, I'm not sure what's gonna be happening this break. I'd like to get out and travel, but money's always an issue. I'm also really psyched to see my extended fam. My little niece is like four now, and she's just so damn cute. I think the funniest thing about her is that she gives my brother fits. Yeah, him, the master of parenting. It's goddamn hilarious.

Daughters are neat. Never understood why the Chinese are so effin adamant about getting a son. Chinese dudes are oftentimes assholes anyway.

Winter's come early. [Saturday [11/22] around 11:57pm]
I don't think it's ever snowed in November. Not since I can remember, at least, and probably not during my lifetime.

I'm kinda scared.

I'm also ready to graduate and date again. Both of those things are really exciting prospects. I'm faring better in achieving the former.

It's all happened so quickly. [Wednesday [11/05] around 1:24am]
I don't even know why I have conservative friends on facebook. It's time to start scratching them off the list.

But even the shittiest of haters ain't gonna keep me down tonight! HOLY SHIT. Can you believe it? I still can't.

This is history. The big kind.

And fuck anyone who comes at me with anything but praise and adulation for my president, Barack Obama.

[Wednesday [10/22] around 5:13am]
A comment left on an article that captures my sentiments perfectly:

"I feel angry at the Asians voting for McCain. Most of them think that voting Republican makes them 'white.'"

Yeah. Asian conservatives are everywhere. And they're pretty ignorant.

Case in point.

[Sunday [10/19] around 9:13pm]
Palin supporters are such stupid people. Reading about her visit to Elon made me want to puke. God, I fear for the future of this country.

[Wednesday [10/15] around 7:40am]
Of all the celebrities and public figures out there in the wide world, I think Obama and Michael Cera might click with me the most. Like, not as a group, but as individuals. I feel a great sense of affinity for both of them.

I wonder what Cera will do next. I'm absolutely in love with this screen persona he's created. But in the interest of his career, he should do something to shake it all up while still playing a nice guy.

Unforgivable. [Sunday [10/12] around 11:36pm]
In these dark times, one of the few things that offers me solace is the lingering specter of the Bush administration and my abject hatred of it.

Come January 20th, Bush will be but a memory. He will live out his days as a pariah, loved only by his mother and a few rednecks in Florida who still think that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction and that Barack Obama is, in fact, a Muslim.

But his legacy. My god, his legacy. The things this man has wrought. The country is collapsing around us while the world is set to close the chapter on the age of American dominance. Pundits say that the next president must overcome the bitter partisanship that has torn the country asunder and may be the very last nail in this country's coffin. NEVER FORGET that it was Bush and his "I answer to no man" ideology that created this rift in our culture. To say that I loathe Bush is an understatement; he is beyond contempt, as are the people that supported him. Twice. Suffice it to say that I will never forgive the conservatives for the insidious things they've perpetrated. By all means, put me squarely in the liberal camp from now to the end of time.

I want to turn back the clock, back to my eighth grade year, and rampage through Greensboro. And in 2004, after we'd seen the destruction of which Bush was capable and reelected him, I want to revisit conversations frozen in time. I'd like to punch a few people in the face. I'd like to call them any number of denigrating names.

Josh Debottis, Krista McCoy, Ramsey Cardwell..the list goes on and on.

But we were but mere high-schoolers then. As idiotic as the aforementioned people may have been (and may still be), let's place the blame squarely on the voting public, the same despicable people that champion Palin because she's a religious lady who tends to dislike minorities and those got-durned gays.

Yes, conservative adults. Baby boomers. White folks that refuse to acknowledge the concept of "white privilege." People who drive hummers..still. I have such contempt for all of them. Which is why I found a recent article in Newsweek, authored by none other than Karl Rove, to be hysterically funny... in a "ha-ha-I-wanna-die-because-of-how-unfair-life-is" way.

An excerpt:

"McCain and Palin should also respond to key misstatements by Obama-Biden, but only flip the discusssion back to Obama's own deficits. They should not chase rabbits: that would only occupy time better devoted to who can fix the big stuff broken in Washington and reach across the aisle to work for the American people by putting country first."

Karl Rove, the power-broker of the Bush administration, is worried about fixing the country. NICE JOB, YOU FUCKING DICK.

Should it exist, there's a place in hell for Bush. These days, I'd wager that Rove is rather anxious about his soul as well.

Oh yeah, the media's biased alright. [Thursday [10/09] around 5:11pm]
So, I heard there's an Obama smear book out by conservative "journalist" David Freddoso entitled "The Case Against Barack Obama." The book apparently examines his entire political career and attempts to reveal him as a non-reformer political hack that has myriad ties to the far-left.

The book is also being published by the douches that ran the Swiftboat Veterans for Truth book against Kerry back in 04.

Enough said.

Sometimes, it takes a village.. [Monday [10/06] around 2:51pm]
..Or an equivalent number of people to renew my faith in education. In this country. In humanity.


On Sarah Palin. [Thursday [10/02] around 9:18pm]
I hate when idiots talk patronizingly about or to me. I am so sick of this bitch.

Wipe that effin smirk off your face. You don't know shit.

How does "dodging the questions she didn't want to answer" qualify her as a "good debater?" Answer me, Tom Brokaw!

Gee, I guess it's easy for Palin to criticize Biden over his differences in policy with Obama when she herself has ZERO experience in foreign policy. Can't differ from McCain when you don't have a single original idea in your head, can you?

Being educated is..totally un-American. [Monday [09/22] around 8:50pm]
So in today's assignment briefing for the Guilfordian, there was this one story pitched about some new-fangled conservative movement that wants to re-sculpt the American collegiate curriculum. That's right, they want to screw with the best college system in the world. Something about liberal bias and all that other tired bullshit I've heard too many times before.

So here's what I'm wondering: what exactly would conservatives want taught differently? Aside from all that noise about Creationism (which, coincidentally, is the best indicator of whether or not a public school system is failing), what the hell else do conservatives want to impart to the college set?

Off the top of my head, I can only assume that they want to:

a) Belay all that talk of "white privilege." It's a myth. Not unlike virgin births and shit.
c) Stop teaching minorities how to read and other important crap.
d) Sideline women back into dead-end careers. And then elect them Vice President of the country.
b) Teach everyone that America is awesome. And infallible.

Oh, wait. I guess that last one kinda covers everything.

Fuck the conservative movement.

[Monday [09/22] around 1:38pm]
I'm way too freaking annoyed these days. It's not good for my health. What's worse, I feel like I'm becoming arrogant and self-righteous.

Sometimes I feel like a good half of the people with whom I interact are idiots. Even my good friends are getting on my nerves these days. That would indicate that there's something wrong with my perspective, but then again, I don't think there is.

[Friday [09/12] around 1:17am]
I'm glad to nearly be done with college just so I can get away from ignorant-ass, borderline-racist theme parties. God.

[Thursday [09/04] around 11:02pm]
Rudy Giuliani, you are a giant anus and a douchey orator. Never, ever speak on national television again. Your political relevance peaked at about the same time "9/11" was no longer used as a buzzword for "LIBERALS WILL LET TERRORISTS KILL YOUR BABIES." You basically suck at life and are a shitty excuse for a "prominent Republican leader."

Governor Palin, you did a great job reading a speech that some other guy wrote for you. Way to go becoming McCain's (attack dog) bitch and blasting Obama for his lack of experience. You are so totally prepared to become president should McCain keel over one day. Who knew being a PTA member made you a qualified candidate? AND YOUR WHOPPING (nearly) TWO YEARS AS GOVERNOR. OF ALASKA. WOW. Keeping those radical Inuit in their place, weren't you? FYI you probably weren't McCain's first pick for veep. I mean, that Asian guy turned him down, after all. SO QUIT BEING SO FUCKIN' SMUG. Oh and p.s., teen pregnancy is lame, you dumbass.

Hey John McCain. I guess this is your party, since you are the main man and all that shit. I ain't really got anything to say about you this evening that hasn't already been said more eloquently by a thousand other people. But I do remember that you hate the gooks...sooo to borrow a turn of phrase from good ol' crazy ass DickFACE Cheney, "GO FUCK YOURSELF."

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